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Join me as I strain the fragile bonds of sanity in a terrifying tale of weird science gone horribly awry in a way so grotesque, so unnerving, so mind-meltingly, soul-shatteringly—well I don’t want to oversell it…
In which I am rather upset by the notion of certain annoying dogs invading my program.
Recently, the Domino’s corporation attempted to make amends for years of awful pizza—but not everyone’s troubles can just be drowned in a tub of garlic butter. Hearken, therefore, unto the Noid’s heartbreaking tale of woe.
The introductory text crawl in the arcade obscurity “B.C. Story” contains what has to be the most fascinating and baffling display of magnificently mangled English ever seen in a game. Such artistry must be immortalized with all due majesty in the hallowed halls of “Masterwork Video Game Theater.”
Duke Nukem has nothing on his predecessor Duke Davis. In Bad Street Brawler (NES), only the “world’s coolest martial arts vigilante” (yes, that’s a direct quote from the instruction manual) is a bad enough badass to go out at night in neon short shorts and attempt to swing-dance with rampaging gorillas.
Ah, NES Dragon’s Lair…you beautifully broken game. You have nearly everything I needed to inspire this first episode: Continue reading
Esoteric Oaf Productions 